so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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