...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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