i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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