He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We are two peas in an std pod
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
