just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
