May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
