By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
