So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
