I skipped work to stalk him.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
