Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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