is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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