What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
