My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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