yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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