i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize