I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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