I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
