hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
