i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize