He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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