I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Do vagina's smell?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
