Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
