if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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