Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
