This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize