Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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