a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
