Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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