Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
