ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
