ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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