We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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