Dual....:-)
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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