true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
