This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
