dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
