Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
