My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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