Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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