He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Who died my cat blue again?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
