I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
