apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
