she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
