Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize