I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
