what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
