How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
