Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm at about main and main street
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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