...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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