maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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