Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
