I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Panties = found
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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