My liver just broke up with me...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
