so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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