I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize