They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
